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Dear Reader,
A few minutes after 3 a.m. on a Tuesday, I woke up with a heavy heart concerning why we are not there for others and how to best be there for them. To put context to this post, I have to pen a short piece of my heart and some unsolicited advice, just as my thoughts pave the character of reverence.
I lost my mother to cancer a year ago, and I’ve been going through the most painful grief, depression, and external issues. I know that my mother’s death is not where all this low stage started, but it has also led to my deep depression. Although I’m struggling, I’ll be honest; I’ve been pushed away from these feelings for far too long to focus on meeting daily expectations. But somehow, it’s drowning me. And it’s time to get my heart in a better place of glory.
I tried up and struggled daily, yet the ones who call themselves my friends and close relatives have not noticed. Somehow, I either masked it well, or people just stopped caring. People didn’t want to ask to avoid taking on others’ pain. But honestly, my assumption still made no sense. As a woman of faith, the words below in the Bible gave us enough knowledge to reflect what is in our hearts for hurting people.
This might seem selfish or needy, but I wrote this post to let you know you are not alone. Everyone is going through dark and lonely moments. But we all have to find the mood and actions to show more compassion for others.
John 15:12-13
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater Love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
Galatians 6:2
Carry each other’s burdens; this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.
James 2:14-17
What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith is dead if it is not accompanied by action.
In James 2, I prepare myself to say,
“I’m tired of people asking HOW YOU ARE DOING and not being willing to be used by God. I’m tired of people asking only to say, “Oh, I will pray for you. When, in fact, the book of James takes on a different responsibility.
When we look at Jesus’s walk on earth, whenever He was out and there was a need, He did not just pray. He combined it with ACTS OF LOVE and ACTIONS.
SOCIAL LINKS
How To Be There For Someone Going Through A Hard Time
It’s not easy to fully commit ourselves to someone, especially when they are not necessarily there for us in return. However, understanding and compassion can make it easier for others to open up and share their feelings.
First, try accepting that the other person is having a tough time. This doesn’t mean you must agree with or condone what they’re doing, but understand that they feel overwhelmed and out of control. Next, let them know you care about them and want them to get through this difficult time as quickly as possible. Letting them know you’re available if they need someone to talk to could be the critical difference between having a supportive relationship and one where tensions run high.
So, when we show up for each other, we are present for the person in front of us. This goes beyond being physically there; it is about caring and putting our total effort into what is happening. We need to be willing to listen attentively and treat others with respect. We should also be prepared to apologize when necessary, as this will go a long way in restoring damaged relationships and giving the person the ability to think.
When we show up for each other, it starts with acknowledging the other person’s presence and being friend support in crucial times—even if you are not saying anything. Showing some degree of care and concern will go a long way in creating an emotionally safe space where collaboration and Love can occur.
Things that help
- Give the person distance.
- Be mindful of the person’s state of mind.
- Be present, but choose to give your time and attention
- Look for ways to support (positive words are good, but practice actions)
- Please help them focus on making good decisions to steer change
- Be consistent and not focus on being perfect.
How To Be There for someone with depression
Isolation is the first thing a person going through depression does. So understanding and nurturing are a big way to start. Although I have a BSc in Psychology and know the word of God, it still did not stop me from experiencing depression. Here are ways to show up for others, including being considerate and compassionate. When you are thoughtful, you pay attention to other people’s feelings and try not to impose your views or opinions on them. This approach allows people with different perspectives to have a meaningful discussion without getting defensive or upset.
So many of us think that telling the person to be motivated is the key, but that will not make the person feel right at the moment because everything is just black and white for that person.
It would help if you were compassionate. People often lapse into being criticized because they forget how difficult it can be when we feel unsupported. Thus, instead of reacting defensively or attacking back, attempt to understand where the person is, how they got there, and how to help them come out. Offer constructive feedback that considers their perspective; if all fail, don’t be a professional. Support your friend in getting a therapist.
What does showing up look like?
There is no single answer to this question, as each person’s definition of “showing up” may differ. However, one common idea is that showing up involves being present for what matters in your life—work or personal relationships. It can also include setting boundaries and honouring commitments you’ve made with others you love. In other words, showing up means putting your needs aside and doing important things for you and others.
INTERNAL READING
My Self-Healing Advice To Get Over Grief And Loss
How To Fall In Love With Dating Yourself
What are some excellent ways to show Love for others?
First, you can love through kindness, but one of the simplest is simply being kind. This might include doing something special for a family member or friend when they don’t expect it, calling them to check in on how they’re doing, or sending them a gift. Sometimes, the smallest gestures mean so much and go a long way in support.
Another good way to show up for others is through your actions. If you know someone is struggling and needs support, do what you can to help without asking questions or feeling obligated.
What are the benefits of showing up for others?
Showing up for others is beneficial, not only for you but also for those around you. It creates a shared sense of goodwill and connection, increasing happiness and well-being. It also encourages people to take risks (to lend a helping hand), which can result in beneficial surprises down the road.
One study showed that when volunteers were asked to help strangers with a challenging task, they reported significant increases in resiliency and self-esteem compared to when they weren’t given any charges or just observed others doing them. Showing up even prompted some participants to adopt healthier habits, as generosity paved the way for a change!
FINAL THOUGHTS
You can show your Love and support in countless ways by being there for others – from lending an ear during tough times to simply smiling at someone else’s misfortune. The key is simplicity: Be kindhearted toward everyone you meet! And the most incredible way to be there for someone who needs support is LOVE THROUGH ACTIONS.
If you were to support your friends, what would you do? Share your advice on how to be there for others in the comments below. I hope this post finds you well and that you enjoyed reading it.
